Why I Won't Be #SendingForgivenessViral

PLEASE NOTE: I HAVE BEEN BLOCKED FROM FACEBOOK FOR ONE WEEK FOR POSTING THIS. FEEL FREE TO SHARE THIS AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION. IF ANYONE WISHES TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME MY TWITTER IS ELLYVICKERE - YA GIRL HAS BEEN SILENCED (FOR 7 DAYS)

In light of recent, loud, racist voices by successful white women in the last week, one of our own, once influential in standing up for POC addressed this issue in a disappointing and confusing plea to our nation.

Let me preface this article by saying Waleed Aly's acceptance speech earlier in the year had me crying in public. I've always looked to him as a voice for my people, as a voice to all people of colour. And I think Chris Graham said it best when he said "...when the very people who enforced that oppression embrace you, it either means the oppression has ended, or you’re now expected to be a part of it." 

When I watched the Send Forgiveness Viral segment I felt extremely uneasy and I couldn't figure out why. I was expecting something else, especially from him. I felt the same way when I saw BWOC actors on OITNB wilfully saying that reverse racism (racism against white people) is a thing. In both instances I noticed my discomfort but continued on because it was something I enjoyed. In both instances I became more and more annoyed and confused about my not feeling right and my brain actively started questioning it. Why would oppressed people send a message that literally helps to silence, tone police and oppress their own people? 

In both instances of claiming reverse racism is real and Waleed's speech on why we should forgive and understand racists, the writers were white. And that was the lightbulb understanding moment that made me go 'well fuck me...'

Orange is the New Black writers.

I was actually banned from facebook for three days for pointing out that the writers of OITNB are all white, writing trauma porn for POC, literally making BPOC say things that actively oppress their own people. 

But let's talk about the white co-writer of the Send Forgiveness Viral segment. His name is Tom Whitty. This man has an idea that people of colour should accept, understand and protect white racist feelings, because white feelings are more important than POC lives. Tom WHITEY, check your privilege. (White pun credit: Kawsar Ali) The idea that racism needs to be forgiven, before apologies have even been made are a laughable and disgusting representation of the white supremacist culture that our nation proudly boasts. 

Tom Whitty: co-writer of send forgiveness viral. Subject to pun on white person 'Tom Whitey'.

The idea that white people on a national platform spreading fear mongering hate deserve to be caressed, understood and treated fairly before those who are literally losing their lives for this same treatment could only be made by someone who actually believes it to be true. That's the nature of our nation. And I reject it.

I've found myself actively saying 'I hate white people.' And it's always after micro-aggressions or literal racist aggressions toward me or other POC. I, as a native to this land feel I want to reject this land because of the people who invaded it, the racist and sexist ideologies they push on me and the lack of basic human rights I've been allowed. 

So why is it that we as people of colour, whether you're native to my country or not, allow white people, our continued oppressors to have their feelings stroked, needs met and authority over us respected? Why has a prominent and important representation and voice for us, agreed to and carried out this segment when it literally forces our tones and reactions to racism to be policed by white people? Is Waleed now the enemy? Has he sold out to the point where he is no longer on our side? I don't think so, and let me explain why the only forgiveness I'm sending viral is to Waleed himself, and any other person of colour successful enough to be embraced by those who oppress us. 

It was a point briefly touched on by the writer I mentioned above, Chris Graham, that those oppressed, when embraced by their oppressors feel the need to represent the feelings of their oppressors in fear of losing the power or opportunity they worked so hard to get. And I feel that on a spiritual level, as many marginalised minorities will too. It's almost a sense of stockholm syndrome.

If you're a returning reader, know me personally or follow my activism you'll know I'm outspoken when it comes to my experiences as a woman of colour. And it's not just online, it's any time someone says or does something that goes against our basic human rights, whether that be in a work place or social circle and I have suffered greatly for it. Anyone in my age group can tell you there's a mountains worth of bodies in our country that absolutely loathe me for it. Because standing up for my rights, the rights of women and other people of colour is seen as creating "drama." Starting a discussion on the culture of my nation is seen as being a pest. As I've grown older I've seen opportunities for jobs, relationships and friendships be shown and then taken away because I refuse to add to the narrative that allows even the micros' of micro-agressions to happen in a space I partake. I'm learning that if I want the fruits of white embracements, similar of which Waleed enjoys, then I have to keep my mouth shut.

As activists for our own causes whether that be for feminism or racial equality, we all want to make our movement proud. I only ever want to do the best for my people, for people of colour who feel the same foot of white oppressors, systematically and socially. So while we have every right to feel mad at Waleed's message, let's send forgiveness viral to him, because surely we know what it's like to have opportunities taken from us should we not do or say what we're expected to. They have given us roles to play and ways to act, and the only thing I choose to understand and forgive in this instance is a fellow person of colour and his keeping to the status quo. 

Just last night someone at work jokingly said my people (aboriginal people) can't use the 'n' word because we aren't called that. I agreed we shouldn't, because it's not really our word to reclaim but I did argue that I have been called a nigger before and have seen many other of my darker family members and cousins and friends be called a nigger also. He laughed and jokingly said, you can only use the other 'n' word because you're a 'noonga'. I knew he was joking but it still made me inch away, a slight pang of emotional hurt. But that is my work place, and I feel an intense responsibility to the survival of my being to be able to hold my job and I live with the fear that if I kick up a stink about something white people see as a 'harmless joke' then they won't want me around anymore. And I've lost too many jobs due to that same scenario. 

Just today I was called a 'mutt' along with other names in a group called East Coast Gal Pals for calling out a white woman and her white friend who said they will continue to buy from Jeffree Star even after seeing his racist remarks against an asian woman, run at and yell racist remarks to a mexican woman and then a compilation of him calling african american women niggers and asking people to bash them for him. That on top of him saying he wanted to lighten a black woman's skin tone with battery acid. 

Screen shots of the conversation below are what sprouted a thread of personal attacks against me by white people in a girls group that had previously disallowed me from it because I said white people shouldn't be wearing bindis as it's appropriating indian culture, where indian women have continuously explained on many mediums why they don't want white people taking and profiting socially or economically from their culture.

These are just many examples on what happens when people of colour stand up for themselves, their people or act in a way that white people find 'annoying', threatening to their authority or distasteful. So of course we pick and choose our battles, of course most of us, at least I, can empathise and understand how Waleed came to the decision to do that segment, whether he believes it himself or not. Not doing it would have been dangerous to his flourishing career and might hinder his chances at keeping his influential voice. It's his decision to make, just like it's our decision as marginalised minorities on whether we want to understand that, empathise with him, elect more power to people of colour lucky enough to be embraced by white media an so forth. 

I'm not saying his choice was right or wrong, I'm saying I understand it. I'm saying as marginalised people we have the power to understand it because it happens every single day, just in different settings. They've given us a script and we understand how they want us to act, we have to decide personally, which instances are safe to act out in, and which are too dangerous to stray from their script.