In one of my recent posts I touched briefly on my confusion about why one woman would try and put down another woman with information that a guy never liked her in the first place. Because to me, that's dumb and only makes it okay for it to happen to you, in a logical sense. Since I've touched on this, that person and I have mended bridges, but I wanted to talk about this issue anyway for anyone who is about to tell someone else that no one likes them, or the guy they liked was only using her/him/whoever.
I've made a short version of this post without my personal story that you can send to anyone who uses this as an insult here.
What happened to me was, a nightmare to say the least. Part of me wishes it never happened.
I was at the club I was doing promo for, when a decent looking guy put a peg on me. Literally. I was drunk and confused and I looked at him with a 'okay wtf?' Look. He made up a stupid excuse and said if you see me later put the peg on my shirt. Safe to say I didn't see him later and I woke up in the morning with a peg and a hangover.
Months later this dude tracks me down on Facebook and says something along the lines of 'remember me?' Whether I remembered him at the time is hazy but nonetheless we start talking. I got to know this dude and we spoke every day. His mum was a Christian and he was a virgin which was surprising at the time because he was steroid built and extremely smooth. He would tell me about some weird fetishes he had and at the same time say how he didn't want to go to hell or have his mum know he was going to hell after having sex before marriage.
Suddenly the messages stopped and I assumed as a single girl that it was just what usually happens when someone is about to get a girlfriend. Apparently not. I got a message from a guy who was best friends with him saying he was in hospital in a coma and that I should go and see him. I spoke to friends about it because yes I thought we had a connection but it wasn't anything more than talking every day for months. I didn't want to be a dick and not visit so I went. I think a big part of me going was because I felt guilty because I had texted him at the time he crashed his car and felt like it could have been my fault.
So I went. I met his mother which was awkward as hell and she apparently hated me because I wore lipstick to the hospital. And a few weeks later he called me and asked me to come and visit. He was out of his coma and sounded weird and told me about a dream he had and told me he was thinking about me. So I visited.
His friends were all there and it became a thing where I would go and see him and bring him food and some conversation. Throughout this entire time I was talking to a mutual friend"ish" person because it was stressful and confusing and it was nice to talk to someone who knew both of us and wasn't a crazy religious person.
I read books when he was having appointments and was there most nights, I made sure I left when his mother was coming to be respectful. I was there when he couldn't hold a fork. The nurses started referring to me as his girlfriend which was weird to me. When you like someone the idea is nice but I wasn't naive, there was distance and I knew this boy was a player. He may have lost his muscle but his attitude toward lil honeys everywhere was still popping through. These were red flags that I admittedly ignored, it was a mistake but it needed to happen.
Every night he would walk me out, slowly of course, at his own pace. His brother would be there and we occasionally joked around. There was always that awkwardness there because in the back of my mind. I remember all the dirty shit he said to me and now being in a hospital room with his extremely Christian family set the tone for some awkward feelings.
Time passed and he recovered and went home and we stopped talking. Then out of nowhere he started calling. His freedom from the hospital seemed like a high for him and he turned into the most horrible entitled white boy ever. I remember one morning he was mad because I posted pictures on instagram wearing a sports bra. I told him we weren't dating and that I can post what I want. He would call me and pass the phone around to his friends while they yelled into the phone, I started to feel really humiliated. I really liked this guy and whether I liked it or not I had been through some shit with him. I wanted to not like him anymore. I wanted to move on.
He kept calling randomly to 'catch up' and it really messed with my head. He stopped replying and then suddenly 'care'. It was tiring. And on one call I lost it, I told him to leave me alone If he was to continue because I had enough going on and he really messed with my mind and my mood.
Well turns out I was wrong. A month later, the dude was dating the dude's ex girlfriend. And I guess that's what pushed the guy and I to sleep with each other for a couple of weeks. Say what you will about the guy, he has a short temper but he's a great person. He drove me to work and he was a real gentleman for what was a friends with benefits type thing.
That ended, I started dating my now boyfriend. It's almost been a year and I get a message from both the guy and the dude's now ex girlfriend. The dude allegedly beat her up and broke her ribs and she just wanted me to know that while he was seeing her, he was leading on the girl I mentioned above, another girl and I. He was sending her screenshots of everything all the other girls were saying to him and laughing about leading us on. Man, I really gave him the benefit of the doubt. But either way we ended up having a nice girl chat about how I dodged a bullet and she thought I was pretty. That's girl love.
Fast forward to the last few months and the other girl who was also getting played tried to use me getting played as some sort of put down, saying he never liked me. Here's the thing my honeys: it says nothing about me and everything about the dude. I did nothing but be trusting and kind to a man who abused that trust and pulled me along for a year. I love The Darkness and I do believe in a thing called love. And I won't stop believing people are good people until they prove me wrong.
You babes need to stop using failed men as insults to other babes, as if failed men mean shit after they've proved themselves as fuckbois. If you want to insult me, fine, but understand that being played isn't an insult, saying he never loved me is hurtful but not a representation of who I am in any way. You can send me piles upon piles of people I thought were my friends talking nonsense about me saying you should have hit me more, Regina, but that again is a representation of them and yourself and not me. Be smart, use something real, use something that is wrong with me to insult me, not the shitty actions of failed people.
These days I don't need the validation of that dude, I have the most amazing partner that isn't a sociopath. I hope this dude finds peace and I hope babes everywhere start seeing him for what he is. Yeah he's built and talks smooth as fuck, and you might think these kinds of guys can be changed. I'm really sorry, you might be the most amazing babe on the planet but these kinds of guys are always looking for someone better, and anyone still hanging around will be turned inside out because they're just pawns in a game. These guys are bored, they need someone to talk themselves up to. They're not an insult to you, if you end up in their game and feel ashamed that you were tricked, don't! It happens to the best of us, and if anything shows you you go into things with the best idea of people. Keep your heart open, and never use failed men as an insult.
Their failure, is not your success.
I've made a short version of this post without my personal story that you can send to anyone who uses this as an insult here.
What happened to me was, a nightmare to say the least. Part of me wishes it never happened.
I was at the club I was doing promo for, when a decent looking guy put a peg on me. Literally. I was drunk and confused and I looked at him with a 'okay wtf?' Look. He made up a stupid excuse and said if you see me later put the peg on my shirt. Safe to say I didn't see him later and I woke up in the morning with a peg and a hangover.
Months later this dude tracks me down on Facebook and says something along the lines of 'remember me?' Whether I remembered him at the time is hazy but nonetheless we start talking. I got to know this dude and we spoke every day. His mum was a Christian and he was a virgin which was surprising at the time because he was steroid built and extremely smooth. He would tell me about some weird fetishes he had and at the same time say how he didn't want to go to hell or have his mum know he was going to hell after having sex before marriage.
Suddenly the messages stopped and I assumed as a single girl that it was just what usually happens when someone is about to get a girlfriend. Apparently not. I got a message from a guy who was best friends with him saying he was in hospital in a coma and that I should go and see him. I spoke to friends about it because yes I thought we had a connection but it wasn't anything more than talking every day for months. I didn't want to be a dick and not visit so I went. I think a big part of me going was because I felt guilty because I had texted him at the time he crashed his car and felt like it could have been my fault.
So I went. I met his mother which was awkward as hell and she apparently hated me because I wore lipstick to the hospital. And a few weeks later he called me and asked me to come and visit. He was out of his coma and sounded weird and told me about a dream he had and told me he was thinking about me. So I visited.
His friends were all there and it became a thing where I would go and see him and bring him food and some conversation. Throughout this entire time I was talking to a mutual friend"ish" person because it was stressful and confusing and it was nice to talk to someone who knew both of us and wasn't a crazy religious person.
I read books when he was having appointments and was there most nights, I made sure I left when his mother was coming to be respectful. I was there when he couldn't hold a fork. The nurses started referring to me as his girlfriend which was weird to me. When you like someone the idea is nice but I wasn't naive, there was distance and I knew this boy was a player. He may have lost his muscle but his attitude toward lil honeys everywhere was still popping through. These were red flags that I admittedly ignored, it was a mistake but it needed to happen.
Every night he would walk me out, slowly of course, at his own pace. His brother would be there and we occasionally joked around. There was always that awkwardness there because in the back of my mind. I remember all the dirty shit he said to me and now being in a hospital room with his extremely Christian family set the tone for some awkward feelings.
Time passed and he recovered and went home and we stopped talking. Then out of nowhere he started calling. His freedom from the hospital seemed like a high for him and he turned into the most horrible entitled white boy ever. I remember one morning he was mad because I posted pictures on instagram wearing a sports bra. I told him we weren't dating and that I can post what I want. He would call me and pass the phone around to his friends while they yelled into the phone, I started to feel really humiliated. I really liked this guy and whether I liked it or not I had been through some shit with him. I wanted to not like him anymore. I wanted to move on.
He kept calling randomly to 'catch up' and it really messed with my head. He stopped replying and then suddenly 'care'. It was tiring. And on one call I lost it, I told him to leave me alone If he was to continue because I had enough going on and he really messed with my mind and my mood.
This is where it gets confusing, you're welcome to skip this paragraph if you can't follow. People like to throw around empty threats of suing for defamation so I'm not using real names here. 'The Dude' is the person this story is about. 'The Guy' was his best friend.
A while later his best friend, the one who told me about the hospital, the one who was there the first night at the club, messaged me. That guy told me the dude was sleeping with they guy's ex girlfriend. I tried to assure him that even though the dude turned out to be super shitty, that he wouldn't do that to the guy. The guy and the dude were best friends? I know this is confusing, I just don't want the dude to have a cry about his cover being blown by using his real name, how else will he trick lil honeys into sucking up his ass?Well turns out I was wrong. A month later, the dude was dating the dude's ex girlfriend. And I guess that's what pushed the guy and I to sleep with each other for a couple of weeks. Say what you will about the guy, he has a short temper but he's a great person. He drove me to work and he was a real gentleman for what was a friends with benefits type thing.
That ended, I started dating my now boyfriend. It's almost been a year and I get a message from both the guy and the dude's now ex girlfriend. The dude allegedly beat her up and broke her ribs and she just wanted me to know that while he was seeing her, he was leading on the girl I mentioned above, another girl and I. He was sending her screenshots of everything all the other girls were saying to him and laughing about leading us on. Man, I really gave him the benefit of the doubt. But either way we ended up having a nice girl chat about how I dodged a bullet and she thought I was pretty. That's girl love.
Fast forward to the last few months and the other girl who was also getting played tried to use me getting played as some sort of put down, saying he never liked me. Here's the thing my honeys: it says nothing about me and everything about the dude. I did nothing but be trusting and kind to a man who abused that trust and pulled me along for a year. I love The Darkness and I do believe in a thing called love. And I won't stop believing people are good people until they prove me wrong.
You babes need to stop using failed men as insults to other babes, as if failed men mean shit after they've proved themselves as fuckbois. If you want to insult me, fine, but understand that being played isn't an insult, saying he never loved me is hurtful but not a representation of who I am in any way. You can send me piles upon piles of people I thought were my friends talking nonsense about me saying you should have hit me more, Regina, but that again is a representation of them and yourself and not me. Be smart, use something real, use something that is wrong with me to insult me, not the shitty actions of failed people.
These days I don't need the validation of that dude, I have the most amazing partner that isn't a sociopath. I hope this dude finds peace and I hope babes everywhere start seeing him for what he is. Yeah he's built and talks smooth as fuck, and you might think these kinds of guys can be changed. I'm really sorry, you might be the most amazing babe on the planet but these kinds of guys are always looking for someone better, and anyone still hanging around will be turned inside out because they're just pawns in a game. These guys are bored, they need someone to talk themselves up to. They're not an insult to you, if you end up in their game and feel ashamed that you were tricked, don't! It happens to the best of us, and if anything shows you you go into things with the best idea of people. Keep your heart open, and never use failed men as an insult.
Their failure, is not your success.
For a good comeback I've made a short version of this post without my personal story that you can send to anyone who uses this as an insult here.
How To Respond To "He Never Liked You Anyway" Insult
![How To Respond To "He Never Liked You Anyway" Insult]()
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March 08, 2016
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