What Is A Suicide Relapse Prevention Plan?

Today I went in to my doctor for a suicide relapse prevention plan. I've had these done yearly, nearly all my adult and adolescent years. In a society that doesn't allow youths and adults to earn enough for private health care, where our only choice is to seek help from the public system, just what does that mean for you or I?

Our society, as much as we like to say we care and do what we can for people with mental illness, is not geared to being nice to people. So when you go into a clinic to have this plan done, you may be feeling suicidal, depressed, anxious and on edge already. 

Your first point of 'help' is at the front desk. While clinics serve a wide range of problems and these receptionists see broken legs, sick children and people with the flu, they also see mentally ill people. With 7 people killing themselves a day in Australia, we aren't doing much to ensure the first point of contact with the people going through these things are pleasant or appropriate. 

Now I know these women in the sense that I've been passed through them nearly every week for the last two years so I already have an understanding of their attitudes towards the people that come through. With the exception of one or two, the rest of the regular women there seem to have that bickering and almost childish attitude toward people if they aren't pushing them through their system and pointing to the waiting area. 

So I walk through the doors into the clinic air conditioning, which is a relief to the Australian scolding heat. I confirm with the receptionist I was being served by that I was here to see Dr. Sam at 10:30, she confirmed back and told me to have a seat. Not bad in any sense of the word, but when it reaches 10:50 I ask a different receptionist how many people are before me in my doctor's list. She says three people. 'Oh he's running quite late today isn't he?' She then informs me that my appointment is at 10:50 and that they're not late at all. In my confusion I tell her that my appointment was actually 10:30, that I called and made the appointment myself and actually confirmed with her co-worker not a mere half hour earlier. Not that it was too much of a problem, I was just very anxious, and anyone with anxiety who knows what I would have been feeling at that point would understand my need for an approximate time that I'd be seen. To that she scoffed and the receptionist sitting next to her (which I'll reference next) laughed and scoffed too. 

I sit down, feeling embarrassed and even more vulnerable than before. I see a man come in with an obvious disability who was making an appointment with my doctor for next week. The receptionist I mentioned before told him Dr. Sam was out of the office next week. The man asked for the next doctor available as he needed to see one asap. She said no and made him an appointment for Dr. Sam for the next week without even asking if that was okay or acknowledging his need for an appointment hastily. 'You're in for Dr. Sam for the week after on Wednesday at 3, do you want me to write it on a card?' The man walked away very upset, swearing, confused and noticeably shaken. She pushed on to the next person.

In an industry that is presumed to support people who need genuine help; in an industry geared toward reducing the statistics of 200 attempted suicides every single day in Australia, the first point of contact for these people are receptionists that treat you like you don't matter and don't take in consideration your feelings, the reason you're there in the first place or the fact that they might just be a catalyst to the very thing they're employed to 'sort through'.

So what comes after your experience with the first point of contact, regardless of the way you've been treated? A long wait for your doctor. When you get in to see your doctor what should you expect? What even is a suicide relapse prevention plan? It's help isn't it? Isn't this what lifeline, mental health organisations and literally everyone you encounter tells you is the 'help'? This appointment is a plan, to prevent relapse of your condition whatever that may be. To prevent suicide, self harm and dangerous behaviours. A plan to help you with depression, anxiety, BPD, PTSD, an ED etc. 

Let me clarify before going on, I've seen Dr. Sam for years and this is not a reflection of him, but a reflection on the system for mental health care in Australia; where more australians are killed every year by suicide over road related deaths.

Dr. Sam greets me and asks what we're doing today. I tell him I'm here for my relapse prevention plan. I'm teary eyed, I've cried almost every day for the last three weeks. I'm noticeably exhausted. He hands me a box of tissues and fiddles with his computer. He prints out the plan. Now I already know what this plan is, as I said, I've had these yearly for a very long time. So what should you expect? Its a single page printed form of multiple choice questions that ask you how you're feeling. There's maybe 7 or 8 of these questions. He'll score your answers and if you rate high enough they'll give you your 10 sessions to see a counsellor. If you don't they'll tell you to get more sleep, drink more water and take better care of yourself. That's what this magical plan is, that's what people are talking about when they say to get 'help'. 

As I always do I feel like I've accomplished nothing and wasted my time. I feel let down with the system. Sure it can be nice to talk to a counsellor sometimes, but just how much money are we putting in a system that is quite obviously broken? How much worth is put on our lives. We pay taxes for roads and hospitals and health. But is the money going in the right places? Are these people being trained properly in how to treat the people they're seeing? I'm yet to experience the private health system but why does the amount of money we pay determine the level of help we get to prevent one of the biggest killers of our people? If we are already paying for a mental health service for the public, why should we have to pay a higher price to actually receive that help? If that is the case, then why are we paying for the public system at all? Is capitalism really worth losing 2,000 australians every year? How much are our lives really worth?