The Struggle of Loving/Missing and Seeming Needy

I have a person in my life who even though the person she likes has straight up told her he doesn't like her, has stolen from her, has put her down in so many ways and has left her in a position where she could have ended up having his baby, still goes back every time. I look at her situation and I think 'when will you get it?' and I almost feel embarrassed for her. 

And it's only now, while I'm lying face down in my bed crying that I realise that while our situations may be different, we have the same feeling. The need to feel love reciprocated, taking all that we can get from a person even if it wasn't the love we should be getting, from the right person, at the right time, in the same way we're giving it. 

In the last two weeks with the downfall of my relationship, so many people have told me how to act, what not to say, what to say and how to feel. Telling me he always put my feelings second, that he's not working on it with me so why should I care, saying that if I tell him I miss him, that I'm giving him the power. But when it comes to love, when it comes to the purest form of feeling, is there such thing as love games?

To me I say no, to him I say yes. I love this person, like I really love this person. And like all of my declarations of love before the end, I offered to move states, to do therapy and to uproot my life to compromise for the push and pull of unconditional, life long love. And it's more or less a double edged sword. I say no to him, because playing games plays a huge part on his feelings toward me. My saying I miss him is most definitely driving him away. He texts me every day, he asks me questions and we have the same conversations we have had in the last two years that kept us a team, a partnership, however now, it's only one person expressing their "i miss you's" and drunken "I love you's". 

Double edged sword, catch 22, either way you want to word it, the outcome is still the same. I'm still in love, she's still in love, but both of those men, even if I see my love as significantly more caring and chivalries than hers, (she believes that's the case for hers, we all know love is blind etc.) are serving themselves. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, because both her and I are serving ourselves by expressing our feelings. All 4 persons here are doing well what's within their rights as human beings.

So how do we express our true feelings, without being guided by the stigma of doing so? Do we say fuck the patriarchy or do we comply because that's the only way we can successfully find love? Or at least maintain it. 

In a society where true behaviours of the heart come second to complying with patriarchal love games, where does a feminist lean toward more? Do we follow our heart and have it broken more? Or do we follow the game and censor ourselves in fear of driving him away? I haven't figured out whether I want to balance between or fall above or below the line. All I know is, is that I'm in pain and she is too, we chose our paths and we will continue to.